(Using at least 350 words) In your own words, please describe five OR MORE of the most important points you learned from this course AND how you will use them in your life and/or as a metaphysician.
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Thomas Francis University • Course G150 • Segment 1
THE ART OF SUCCESS
—Douglas R. Kelley, PhD, CH, CSL
Updated: September 28, 2015
Upon Completion of this Segment, You Will Know:
What success is and what it is not.
Three areas of balanced success.
The ultimate definition of success in all things.
25 characteristics of success based on observing many successful people.
How to increase your personal net asset value (PNAV).
Why it’s never too late to start being successful.
Do what you should do, when you should do it.
— Adapted from a quote by Thomas H. Huxley
ne day a wealthy man took his son on a trip to the countryside where he could show him
how poor people lived. They spent a day and a night with a very poor family. When they
got back from their trip the man asked his son, "So, how did you like the trip?"
"It was great Dad!" cried his son.
"Did you see how poor people can be?" his father asked.
"Yeah!" said his son.
"And what did you learn?" asked his father.
The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that
extends to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in
the garden, and they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have the whole horizon.
Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"
His father was speechless.1
1 Author unknown. A search for the author was unsuccessful.
Segment 1: The Art of Success
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This popular story well illustrates the true nature of success. What one person calls success,
another may not. Isn't it true that success depends on the way we look at things?
WHAT SUCCESS IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT
One time I asked my wife, Tracy, how she would define success. I was impressed with what she
told me:
Success means knowing that you tried your best to accomplish something despite your
fears, doubts, and lack of guaranteed assurance that it would succeed. Success is know-
ing in your heart that the journey will be worthwhile regardless of the outcome. Success
is being able to go to sleep at night knowing you did your best that day to be a good
parent, husband, wife, brother, sister, or friend. Success means never gnawing over past
mistakes—only resolving to not repeat them. Success is knowing that you have grown as
a person this day, and will do so every day. If you have a positive impact on even one
other person's life, you are a success.
She then added:
Success is not limited to material acquisitions. While we have an obligation to provide
material comforts for our family, success can never be measured by such standards. The
expensive houses, cars, clothes, and jewelry everyone owns could all be removed in an
instant—through an act of nature or some freak accident. But when the people around
us—friends and family—can honestly say that their lives are better with us in it, that is
a gift and measure of success no person on this earth can tamper with, just as no person
on earth can give us that gift if we haven't earned it by the way we live.
What a delightful description of what success is and is not! It is important that we do not view
success in a purely monetary light. There is much more to true success than money or career ad-
vancement. True success covers every aspect of our life, engenders happiness, and is directly related
to the meaning in our life.
Measuring success can be likened to the gauges on the dashboard of a car. Which gauge would you
say is the most important? Most people answer, "The fuel gauge." However, is this really true? What
happens if you have a full tank, but your engine overheats or the oil pressure drops? It is plain to see
that all of the gauges are important because each one tells you something different about the oper-
ation of your vehicle. The same is true concerning our success. Each successful area of our lives tells
us something different about our overall success. For example, if we are financially successful be-
cause of working long hours but our close relationships are falling apart as a result, could we truly
say that we are successful in life? Without balanced success, life's meaning fades. To be truly suc-
cessful, we should pursue balanced success in three primary areas, Consciousness and Spirituality,
Relationships, and Financially. Take a closer look at all three.
1) Consciousness and Spirituality. Spiritual success in conjunction with consciousness is the most
important of the three areas to finding meaning and success in life. It involves all types of success
that do not fall into the Relationship or Financial realm; however, all three areas are intercon-
nected. Spiritual success is about growing and evolving as a human being toward a higher state of
Segment 1: The Art of Success
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consciousness. It means giving more than you take, and helping others as you are able. It is opening
your heart to embrace compassion for all humanity.
We achieve success in consciousness by stretching our "mental muscles" frequently to avoid
mental atrophy. We stretch our mind by increasing our knowledge in our careers or other pursuits,
as well as searching for creative answers to life's puzzling questions.
Spiritual success demands embracing life's battles head on, and coming through victorious. It
means raising children to the best of our ability, and helping them to be well-adjusted adults. The
greater our spiritual success, the further greatness we will have to deliver and the more meaning
we will find in life.
2) Relationships. Relationships have been discussed at length in previous courses and it is obvious
that our relationships can add to or subtract from our success and enjoyment of life. This area
should not be overlooked in your efforts to be successful.
3) Financially. This is the traditional area people usually refer to when talking about success.
Financial success obviously includes business and career success. It also includes successful and
honest money/asset management. While financial success should not be minimized, it needs to be
understood in perspective. Think about this: If we were dying from an illness, would our money
be of any real importance beyond paying the medical bills? What good is money if we are dying?
In such a tragic situation as dying, the only things that really matter are our family and friends,
how we lived, and the contribution that we made to humanity while we were able.
Part of success in life is knowing where to draw the line between the truly important things and
the truly unimportant things. To be truly successful in life, we must be successful in all three areas
in a balanced way.
ONE OF LIFE'S GREATEST LESSONS
Among the greatest of all the noble lessons in life is reflected in the segment quote above by
Thomas H. Huxley. "Do what you should do, when you should do it.” There are simply no truer words
when it comes to being successful in anything. This fundamental principle applies regardless of the
endeavor or the journey. Whether making a living, completing a project, or just living successfully
from day to day, this principle applies. This is one of the first principles that we should teach our
children as they grow. And as they learn to make application of this life-principle, they will be better
positioned to make a success of their lives.
If we meditate upon this principle, we begin to see just how much sense it makes. We can have
guaranteed success in anything we attempt if we do what ought to be done and at the time it should
be done. The biggest challenge here, of course, is knowing exactly what should be done, and/or when
we should do it. I wish I had a magical technique to share with you so you would know, but I do not.
Knowing the what and the when is something that comes with age, intuition, and experience. But
strictly speaking, by doing the right thing at the right time, we will achieve our objective. We should
make every effort to become better in determining the "what" and "when" aspects.
In addition to the segment quote by Huxley, my other favorite definition of success is: "Being able
to do what you want, when you want to a reasonable degree." We really need to be financially secure
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to make this work. And by financially secure, I mean the ability to go month to month without wor-
rying about how we'll make it financially and with enough money left over so we can reasonably do
what we want, when we want. The next course of this series, Metaphysical Laws of Attraction, will
explore money-related matters.
CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCCESS
For well over two decades, I have been keenly interested in why certain people are successful and
others are not. In searching for answers to success, I have asked many people what made them suc-
cessful. Very few could tell me what made them successful; they just seem to know what to do
instinctively, which is so often the case. So, I took it upon myself to make a study of my own to see
what I would find. The following 25 traits and characteristics of successful people are what I discov-
ered. Not every person had every quality in full measure, but they all possessed all of the qualities
to one degree or another. Interestingly, I found that these characteristics transcend monetary and
financial boundaries into all aspects of success in life.
1) Successful People Do What They Love and Love What They Do. Successful people know what
they want from life. They have a driving reason to get up in the morning. They thoroughly enjoy
doing what they have chosen, whether a career, volunteer work, or a hobby. This is perhaps the
most fundamental trait of success, because when you love what you do, you find that motivation
is usually strong, and success usually follows.
2) Successful People Have a Plan for Living. Successful people have a life vision in addition to a
Plan for Living. They see very clearly the goals and objectives for which they strive. They regu-
larly update their life plan so it is always fresh and current regarding changing circumstances.
Without a Plan for Living, the best we can hope for is to wander aimlessly through life. A Plan
for Living simply encompasses laying out your spiritual, physical, and financial goals.
3) Successful People Manage Their Lives and Their Time. They are not enslaved to too many
things. They recognize that having too many demands actually is no different than being taken
hostage. Since successful people manage themselves well, they put necessary boundaries on their
precious time. They understand that each one of us is credited with exactly 168 hours per week—
no more, no less. How each person uses that allotted time contributes to, or steals away from
his or her success. They use their time wisely for worthwhile pursuits, such as family, career/busi-
ness, and personal.
4) Successful People Know Themselves Well. They endeavor to be the master of their own ship.
They know their own strengths and weaknesses, and adjust their course accordingly. They use
whatever gifts they possess to perpetuate their success. They know themselves well enough to
avoid patterns and approaches in which they are weak, and exploit those in which they are
strong.
5) Successful People Invest in Themselves. They are always looking for ways to improve their
knowledge and understanding of the universe, life, and career. They take advantage of seminars,
workshops, and training in areas of deficiency. They realize they will never know it all, but this
doesn't dissuade them from trying.
6) Successful People Have Confidence in Themselves and the Value They Offer. Their amazing
confidence shows itself in all they do, whether walking, talking, helping someone, or anything
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else. Their confidence is a product of their healthy self-esteem (not them-esteem). Sometimes
their confidence may come off to certain other people as arrogance or superiority, but it has
nothing to do with such things. I have found that people who have little or no self-esteem are
often threatened by others who are self-confident.
7) Successful People Are Leaders. As a rule, successful people are leaders and achievers, not fol-
lowers. While successful people entertain different perspectives from others, they use critical
thinking skills to make their own decisions. They are not afraid to lead the way into uncharted
territory. Sometimes others follow, sometimes they don't. But it makes little difference to a
successful person who is used to the loneliness that being a leader and pioneer sometimes brings.
8) Successful People Are Problem-Solvers. They tackle problems with intelligence and emotional-
detachment. They look for creative solutions to problems, and don't dismiss radical alternatives
if necessary (the 180 Principle). Even though they may feel fear at times, they never allow their
fear to prevent them from implementing those alternatives and solutions. They weigh the pros
and cons to any given situation, then make a decision and move forward resolute.
9) Successful People Are Single-Minded. They have a forward focus on their vision; a forward bent.
They even walk with purpose and direction. They possess abundant energy and enthusiasm for
what they do, and life in general. They have forward momentum.
10) Successful People Have Drive. Since they have a clearly defined Life Vision and Plan for Living,
they do not lack motivation—they are driven by their dream. They gain intense satisfaction from
all their endeavors. They create their own luck.
11) Successful People Generally Do What Has to Be Done, When It Has to Be Done. They recognize
and strive to apply this primary law of success in all they do. This in turn, fuels their success,
because they know that to ignore necessary things leads to failure in those endeavors. They apply
the wise words: "When there is a hill to climb, don't think that waiting will make it smaller"
(Author Unknown).
12) Successful People Take Responsibility for Themselves and Their Success. Successful people
accept personal responsibility for whatever they do, good or bad. When they are successful, they
rightly take credit. When they fail or make a mistake, they accept responsibility without blaming
others. They learn the lesson of their failing, and resume the relentless pursuit of their dream.
13) Successful People Try New Ways and Approaches. Without hesitation, successful people give
up what isn't working, and look for what will. It is a trial and error process. They exercise fore-
sight and deal with whatever unexpected events occur when they happen. They are never satis-
fied with doing things the same old way when there may be a better way to do it.
They always brainstorm for new and fresh ideas that will work better than before. In my own
experience as a business owner, I always felt that there was the perfect idea lurking out there
somewhere that would add to my success if only I could identify it or pluck it out of the air
somehow. I knew it existed, I just had to uncover it with creative thinking.
14) Successful People Welcome and Embrace Change. They realize and appreciate that change is
inevitable. They know that change must happen if progress is to be made. They appreciate that
with change comes beneficial life lessons. Change keeps them fresh and responsive, and prevents
stagnation. They tune into "change indicators" and trends to stay abreast of their market and
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business. They use change to springboard to ever-greater challenges and successes. Successful
people are open to change and committed to action.
15) Successful People Are Not Afraid to Take Calculated Risks. By taking risks, they refuse to hold
back from shattering any disabling attitudes. They carefully consider the necessary risks of going
a certain direction, but they are not afraid to stick their neck out or go out on a limb if they are
reasonably certain of success (and sometimes even when they aren't certain of anything!). They
are smart enough to learn from their mistakes. By "Doing what they fear most, they control fear"
(Author Unknown).
16) Successful People Are Committed—They Never "Try;" They "Do". They know what it means to
be fully committed to their dream. They make things happen and accomplish much. Successful
people "Do or Die;" they don’t “Do or Try.” They don't know that they cannot succeed, so they
go out and succeed anyway. Oh, they may have moments of uncertainty where they think they
shouldn't have gone this far, but they don't listen to those thoughts! In my own business experi-
ence, I am very glad that I didn't know what I was getting myself into, because if I did, I wouldn't
have done it, and I would have missed out on many years of intensely beneficial lessons about
life and business.
Elinor Smith, who set several women's records in early aviation while still in her teens, and
also author of The Aviatrix,1 wrote, "It had long since come to my attention that people of ac-
complishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to
things." Elinor Smith is a splendid example of living by her own words. She never tried—she did.
17) Successful People Face Life Head-on. They live life as they choose and control their own des-
tiny. They also do what has to be done, regardless of the consequences. Successful people take
life as it comes—head on—bruises and all. And they never let problems or fear cause them to quit
or turnaround from seeing their dreams fulfilled.
18) Successful People Possess "Persistent Resilience." These qualities enable them to bounce back
after failures and mistakes. They always look at failure as a learning experience, not a barrier.
They deal with failures or setbacks by: 1) retreating, and then 2) regrouping by reassessing them-
selves and the situation, and then 3) attacking again. Through "persistent resilience," they keep
getting up again and again every time they fall. I have come to know from experience that per-
sistent resilience always wins. Ask yourself: Who is more persistent, me or the problem?
19) Successful People Have Personal Integrity. Two primary qualities of integrity are honesty and
sincerity. Not every successful person is necessarily honest, but truly successful people always
are and they find deep personal satisfaction in knowing this. Moreover, they are sincere in their
efforts; they don’t try to “one-up” or “put something over” on others. In dealing with others,
whether friends or clients, the successful person will inform them of "the good, the bad, and the
ugly" if it concerns the business or personal interests of the other person, but this said, they also
do not offer unsolicited advice. They are above-board with all, and have the other person's best
interests at heart. Never underestimate the power of integrity. People do business with those
whom they like and trust. If you are trustworthy, then make sure you show it through your hon-
esty and sincerity. If you are not, the people you temporarily deceive will tell everyone they
1 Harcourt Brace, 1981
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know, and whatever success you enjoyed will not only be limited, but it will be devoid of any
substance; simply a veneer covering what really exists inside you.
20) Successful People Make You Feel as if You Are the Most Important Person in the Universe.
Have you ever seen this wonderful quality in a successful person? It's much more than just an
attitude; it is who they are and what they do. They just seem to shower you with genuine interest
and attention. They look in your eyes when speaking, because their whole interest is on you at
the moment. They are excited to talk to you, which is evident by their vocal tone. Their sincerity
engenders friendship; it pulls you toward them. These people seem to enjoy the favor of almost
everyone, and are well spoken of.
Caution: a danger exists in being artificial. Showing others an intense, but momentary and
superficial interest, may lead them to believe that you like and accept them, but it will backfire.
People will quickly see through moodiness and insincerity. Making others feel important is not a
technique to manipulate people; it’s a way to give back by building others up.
21) Successful People Understand Human Nature. On a business level, successful people know that
their business is simply a means to an end. They recognize that consumers don't really want
products; they want what the products do for them. For example, people do not want toothpaste;
they want white teeth and a healthy mouth. They don’t want a hypnosis session; they want to
improve something about themselves or connect with their Higher Self. With this understanding,
successful people maintain the right perspective and market in the proper manner.
However, understanding human nature goes much deeper than the products they buy. It in-
volves knowing how to "read" people; knowing what motivates them; understanding how to make
them happy with you or your product; and diligently working to resolve conflicts. It involves
knowing how to get along with others, not insisting on your own way of doing things, but treating
others with dignity, and respect. It means being "down to earth" enough to discern what moti-
vates people to do the things they do. Much is involved in understanding human nature, but it
comes with experience and making an effort to do so. 14 Traits of Human Nature is explored in
Course G140: Metaphysical Psychology.
22) Successful People Are Communicators. You always know where you stand, because successful
people can be taken at face value. They use tact, but don't beat around the bush. The meaning
of what they say comes through loud and clear because their speech is articulate and easily
understood. They don’t speak condescendingly nor talk over anyone's head. They take great in-
terest in being communicators and expressing their own thoughts and feelings fluently. They are
"dialed in" when conversing with others. They realize that a vital aspect to communication is
listening; and they listen better than they speak. They put forth every effort to make sure no
misunderstandings occur, but if so, they correct them quickly.
23) Successful People Have Presence of Mind. They are mentally sharp because they exercise their
mind, and consequently, they remember things, like people's names. They are deep thinkers and
apply that deep thinking to life. They have learned how to use their knowledge and they have a
worldly perspective. They add to their own knowledge by exploring other people's perspectives
as well as fill in any gaps they discern in themselves.
24) Successful People Have Presence and Presentation. You can always detect a successful person
because they are professional, sophisticated, and charismatic. They are the kind of people that
you notice when they enter a room. They carry themselves well—in a confident manner. They
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have a certain pride in themselves and their physical appearance, such as clothing and grooming.
They are never disheveled. This "presence" comes through self-belief, confidence, and knowing
why they are who they are.
25) Successful People Are Intuitive. One of the most powerf